Because it should make me happy

Anything goes.

It's up to you.

I'm fine with it.

Those are the words that would always come across my lips. I was always the one who gave it my all for my friends, went an inch further to make them happy, and never expected in return.

As a teen, I could never see it, but my friends took advantage of this. I'm certainly not trying to toot my own horn, and honestly, all of those "sacrifices" got kind of sickening, really. 

I don't blame my friends for my unhealthy lifestyle in the past, but it did play a huge factor. When I started going to the gym and eating healthier, these friends slowly backed away as well. They backed away, because I wasn't spending nights drinking with them anymore, I wasn't able to make it for dinner every.single.week.night, and I was actually doing something for myself instead of them.

Just a week back an old friend called me to do lunch, and even though my gut feeling was telling me to skip out on it, I went. I thought it was just me not getting out enough and misjudging my friends all this while. 

Well, you know what?

Nah. 

I'm pretty sure that meeting led to nothing of substance and value to my life. In fact, it only reminded me of the way I used to give in to them as a teen, and it made me realise that I stopped hanging out with them for a reason.

I used to be the girl who lived for her friends. I had to be out every single day, party every Friday and Saturday night. Sure I have some great memories, and most of the time I did like having a big social life.

My mom always used to tell me, "You shouldn't do something when you're not the right age for it. You don't want to get sick of it when the time comes!"

...Or you know, something along those lines. Anyway.

I never understood it, but now I totally get what she meant. I tried almost everything before I was even of legal age. Parties, drinks, you name it. And now that I'm a ripe age of 19? I'm over it.

Things change, people change, life changes. It all stopped appealing to me. I'm not saying I don't enjoy a night out because I totally do (with good company), but just not every weekend.

I need to go out with them tonight. Seriously, it's Saturday night. Get a life!

It's Saturday evening and I'm itching for a good run. I go for a run if I friggin' hell want to, just because it makes me happy.

Slept in till 9 today, am still sore. Craving a nice big bowl of pumpkin oats. Gonna make myself just that, and enjoy a low-key day resting up. Why? Just because it makes me happy.

I'm taking an afternoon nap, just because it makes me happy (and because I wake up at an ungodly hour),

I paint my nails in alternate colours just because it makes me happy. 

Also, I may or may not have squealed upon finding this...

Seriously. I have no words. It's so good. But that's off the point.

What I mean by all this is that things have gotten so much better.

Life isn't half as bad as what we make it to be, y'know?

Sometimes you just gotta live for yourself, do whatever the hell you want to. Having time for yourself is not being selfish. It's important.

With that, I'm going to spend my Sunday night foam rolling while watching Modern Family... Ow my sore muscles!